Trying to Keep Up / my neurodivergent mind

I just dropped my first single of 2024, and it’s the first time I’ve really decided to open up about what goes on inside my head every day. It’s a jungle in there to be honest, and for a long time I decided that the best way to deal with it was to … not? So here goes.

I had a suspicion that something might be a be different a while back - we’re talking way over a decade - but I guess I just chalked it up to being a little eccentric, a little odd, and in some ways I kinda liked it. It was an easy way to be different, to stand out, but also an easy way to be completely misunderstood & misinterpreted. Only after allowing myself to be completely open with someone else (and marry them, which by the way is the best thing I’ve ever done - thank you Rezal x) did I realise just how … off things were.

Through that openness I began to observe myself more like an outsider, and then I realised “hold up, the average person probably doesn’t spend their time practicing conversations, observing others to figure out the ‘right’ time to smile, and completely forgetting that other people exist if they are not RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU”.

It probably also explains why so many of my earlier songs felt good to me because I’d structured them to be what I believed made a good song - I didn’t know how to really get in touch with the emotion of writing - I was using pure structure to create what should technically be a ‘good’ song.

But with ‘Trying to Keep Up’ I’ve completely opened up the floodgates. It was a stream-of-conscious moment of 20 minutes in front of a stage in the middle of Norway. I wasn’t trying to write a good song, I was wanting to write an honest song. I didn’t care about structure (who needs a chorus anyway), I just wanted to say what I needed to say and bounce. And I did.

It’s now available everywhere, on all platforms. I hope you love it as much as I do xxx